If you're a regular reader of this blog, then you might be aware that I've already posted a breakdown on the whole American Idol show experience from the first episode on. What I still feel compelled to write about is what goes on this late in the season of a typical show when the contestants actually sing. Its so easy to predict, and almost every week ends up like this:
1. If the contestant sings badly:
Randy: "Yo Dog, here's what's up. I really like that song, but uh, it was kinda all right for me. There were some pitchy parts here and there and it just wasn't your best performance. But it was all right."
(Translation: It wasn't good).
Paula: "I just think that you are a wonderful person full of life, and I love how you come out on stage each week and show us what you've got. You are special and you look absolutely gorgeous today."
(Translation: I just took a bunch of illegal drugs before the show and wow do I feel good.)
Simon: "Well, if I'm going to be honest with you: I thought that it was absolutely terrible. It kind of reminded me of a baby kitten being skinned alive by a 6-year old autistic penguin, and I think you might be in trouble this week with that performance."
(Translation: Find another career, because you just can't sing.)
2. When the contestants sing well:
Randy: "Yo, yo. Listen up. Yo, yo, I have to tell you that I was kinda scared at first when you started singing that song cuz I was like, I don't know if they can pull it off, but guess what? You did it! You rocked the house, baby! Dat was da bomb!"
(Translation: Good job!)
Paula: "I just think that you are a wonderful person full of life, and I love how you come out on stage each week and show us what you've got. You are special and you look absolutely gorgeous today."
(Translation: I just took a bunch of illegal drugs before the show and wow do I feel good.)
Simon: "If I'm being honest with you, I'd have to say that it was probably your best performance on this show to date. Well done!
(Translation: None needed)
And so there you have it. The contestants sing, and this is pretty much what the judges say each time. What is sad is that there's very little deviation from this. My only concern is that Paula Abdul is making me dumber each time I hear her talk, but that's another matter. Hope this helps.
3 comments:
HAHA...right on, but I think Simon's response would be more like this if he didn't like it:
That was absolutely Dreadful.
Right on, that was great! I could actually hear them saying that stuff while I read it :)
agree totally, and well written... i would like to make one adjustment... i have never heard randy say "all right" but rather "aiight". thats all.
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