Expectations

One of my favorite tibits of wisdom that I have learned over the years is that "The measure of one's assumptions is exactly porportional to the potential of one's disappointments". In other words, the more that you expect, the more you need to be prepared for disappointment.

For instance: Let's say that I expect my boss to take me out to lunch, and he doesn't. Should I be mad at my boss? Well, it depends. Did he make plans with me? If so, then I have built an expectation upon his promise. What if he didn't make plans, but I felt that I've worked so hard, that I deserved it, and he should do it. Now I've not only created an expectation, but made an assumption on someone's behavior. We all know that assumptions are also dangerous and foolish to do, since they rely on un-founded predictions. But let's get back to expectations. Is it wrong to have expecations? Not necessarily. If I buy a 5 dollar item and give the clerk a 10, I expect to get 5 dollars back. That's a realistic and rational expecation (its also a law in most cases). But what if I give him a tip, and expect him to decline it and give me it back and he doesn't. Then I've again become the fool and made an assumption. So the problem here is to define expectations versus assumptions. Here are my own definitions:

Expectations: Anticipated results predicated by facts or laws within a reasonable context.
ex. "I expect to be arrested if I go punch that police officer in the face."

Assumptions: Foolish anticipation of results predicated by subjective ideas and limited or no facts.
ex. "I assumed that my mom would love this handful of worms I found under that brick."


Why am I even writing all of this? Perhaps as a reminder to myself. Happiness with others lies in the area of less assumptions and more communciation.